Supporting loved ones who have anxiety

Anxiety can be extremely difficult for the people who have it. But it can also take a toll on others around those people. If you have a family member or a close friend who is grappling with anxiety, that’s something you know all too well. The strain of being helpful and supportive can create your own feelings of anxiety. That’s why it’s good to know the most effective ways to help them.

One of the most difficult issues can involve suggesting they seek professional help for their anxiety. You can see a clear need, but they’re pushing back. Resistance isn’t unusual, and it’s most often the result of not realizing they need help, being afraid of what help might involve, trying to act self-reliant, see asking for help as a sign of weakness, or simple shame or guilt.

You can address resistance by validating their concerns. Put it in familiar terms: “You’d call the doctor if you had headaches every day. This is the same thing.” Focus on the positive components of getting help, particularly the ones that will benefit them directly. Help them find the help they need. Don’t decide for them … but help them understand the options. And, if they need someone to go with them to that first appointment, be available. Other ways you can help include:

• Get schooled. Learning about the symptoms, causes, and treatments of anxiety disorders can help you understand what your loved one is experiencing. You’ll find plenty of information on our website.
• Be patient. It takes time for people to free themselves from anxiety’s grip. Be supportive and don’t put pressure on them. Offer reassurance and understanding.
• Talk openly. Encourage them to express their feelings and let them know that you are available to listen without judgment.
• Help out. Helping with day-to-day tasks like chores and errands can reduce their stress. You can also encourage them to exercise regularly, eat healthy, and get enough sleep.
• Spot what activates your emotions. Some situations, environments, or topics may “trigger” (we prefer the term activate) your loved one’s anxiety. When you recognize and understand them, you can blunt their impact.
• Refuse to enable. It’s easy to handle things that cause anxiety for them, but it’s usually better to gently encourage them to face their fears in supportive ways.
• Celebrate victories. Overcoming anxiety is a gradual process, and acknowledging even small steps can boost your loved one’s confidence and motivation.
• You, too. When you’re trying to help someone else with their problems, it’s important to take care of your own mental health. Set boundaries and give yourself time to recharge. And, if things become more challenging than you’re comfortable handling, it may be time to encourage them to reach out to our professional counselors at Care to Change.