By 10 a.m. on Thanksgiving morning, Susanna is ready to call it a day … and the family won’t even arrive for another couple hours. Susanna loves the holidays and takes pride in being the one with the biggest house that’s in the middle of everyone. She assembles meals that look like something out of a movie and taste even better. And it’s 10 a.m., and Susanna doesn’t know whether she’s about to scream, cry, or start yelling at the next person who walks into the kitchen.
The preceding paragraph captures the holidays for too many people, and that’s too bad. Some spend the entire holiday season scrambling to get through an exhausting list of tasks, never really enjoying even the slightest amount of pleasure from what they’ve done. Susanna may get to sit down at the table, but she rarely has time to eat while running back and forth from the kitchen.
If all that hits a little too close to home for you, we have a pretty good idea of the amount of stress you deal with during the holidays. Fortunately, we also know a pretty good tool for taking the edge off that stress. You’ll probably be surprised at why it works so well.
What is stress?
We all know how stress feels, but it’s hard to describe. We recognize that a lot of it is in our minds, but we can actually feel it in our bodies. There’s a reason for that, and it goes back to your distant ancestors. They lived in truly dangerous times, with threats all around them, so they developed what’s called the “fight or flight” response. When faced with a serious threat, their brains instantly started the flow of what are known as the stress hormones to prepare their bodies so they could escape or fight back.
Is stress a bad thing?
Too much of it can be, but some stress is important for our daily lives. It can even help us overcome challenges. However, when we’re exposed to a steady diet of extreme stress, it can cause significant damage to our mental and physical health.
What’s the tool?
It’s gratitude! Believe it or not, the simple act of focusing on appreciation shifts our nervous system from being on full alert to becoming calm. Not only does that reduce production of those stress hormones, but it also triggers the production of hormones that make us feel happier. Medical research has proven that expressing gratitude lowers anxiety, improves relationships, and builds our resilience.
It’s about perspective
Much of the stress we face isn’t really about the situations we encounter, but about our perception of those situations and their impact upon us. If we view things in negative ways, they’re more likely to cause us to feel stress. In contrast, gratitude involves viewing the world around us in positive ways. As we see the good, we’re more open to finding the resources and supports we need to achieve success. Our perspective shifts from “I can’t handle this” to “I’m grateful I have the strength and help I need to deal with this,” reducing the anxiety we feel.
It grows, too
Another thing medical researchers have discovered about gratitude is that the more we pay attention to expressing it, the more it “rewires” our brain toward experiencing even more calmness and contentment. Neuroscientists will tell you practicing gratitude activates the parts of your brain associated with emotional regulation and empathy. That kind of brain activity makes stressors bother us less and helps us become even more positive. People who practice gratitude tend to sleep better, have stronger immune responses, and suffer fewer stress-related symptoms like headaches and tight muscles.
Practicing gratitude is easy
One of the best things about practicing gratitude is that it doesn’t force you to make major changes to your life or learn complex activities. A few simple daily activities can have tremendous results. For example, use a journal every day to record three things you’re grateful for. It might be a loved one, that promotion at work, or a pretty sunset. You can also send notes to thank others for the impact they’ve had on your life. Pausing several times a day to enjoy simple moments like a shared cup of coffee encourages you to notice more good things. And complimenting others around you will make both of you feel better and strengthen your relationships.
Need help with gratitude?
Most of us were never taught how to be truly grateful for the many wonderful things in our daily lives. That’s where a professional counselor can help you get started on the path to gratitude. They can help you look at your daily life from a different perspective and guide you to become even better at recognizing and capturing opportunities for gratitude. It’s a truly life-changing change – and making it is easier than you think.