There’s so much about parenting that nobody warns you about, and one of the most difficult things can be helping your children through their endless series of crises while protecting your own mental health.
As parents, we take raising and protecting our children seriously. So seriously in fact, that we tend to prioritize their needs over our own. It’s okay – we’re adults and we can push our own needs out of the way for a while. Unfortunately, neglecting our needs rarely results in positive outcomes.
Nobody can be a truly effective parent when they’re struggling with overwhelming challenges. That’s why it’s crucial for us to tend to our own well-being. The better care we take of ourselves, the better we’ll be able to meet the needs of our kids. Here are some practical tips and strategies to help you care for yourself, even when the kids have you running in multiple directions:
Make yourself a priority. Again, it’s easy to push our needs out of the way, but that’s not a healthy idea. Schedule short breaks throughout the day, because even a few minutes of quiet time can restore our peace of mind. Regular exercise, whether it’s walking, yoga, or dancing, can boost mood and reduce stress. Eating healthy matters, too. Choose foods that give energy needed to get through the day.
Routines rock. Let’s not assume regular routines are boring. When we have a consistent daily routine, we gain a sense of stability and control and are better able to balance time for ourselves, our children, and our household responsibilities. The most important routine? Good sleep habits. Ouch, right?
Stay connected. When we’re busy with kids, it’s easy to slip out of touch with friend and family, but having a network of people to talk to can provide emotional support and practical help. Kids are wonderful, but grownups need time with other grownups to protect their mental health.We were built for connection and connection is key.
Practice mindfulness. Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep breathing exercises into our daily routine. Also, be sure to set aside time for activities that help relax, such as reading, listening to music, or engaging in hobbies. All of these activities can help reduce stress and increase our emotional resilience.
Be realistic. Sorry to break it to you, but not one of us is a perfect parent. Nobody is. Parenting is challenging, and let’s resist the urge to think think badly of ourselves for making mistakes or becoming frustrated for not meeting our preconceived expectations of parenting. Let’s instead set realistic goals, celebrate small achievements, and say no to additional responsibilities that may overwhelm us. When we get exhausted, we’re not having fun, and we’re more likely to become sick.
Communicate openly. Better communication may be the single most important strategy. Make sure you share your feelings and challenges with your partner, because working together can make managing stress and responsibilities easier. Sharing our feelings and experiences with our children helps them understand that complex emotions are normal and models healthy responses for them.
Happy home. Make your home a calm, supporting, positive environment. Add the elements that put you and your kids at ease and engage in activities that both you and the kids enjoy. That will strengthen your bond with them.
Manage coping. Life is complex and unpredictable, and some things are simply going to cause you anxiety. Recognize your triggers and try responding to them with different stress management techniques, such as journaling, exercise, or creative outlets. Most of all, keep yourself flexible and adaptable so you’re not thrown by every new challenge.
Ask for help. If you’ve tried to improve the way the you’re feeling and don’t seem to get getting anywhere, consider reaching out sitting down with one of our professional counselors. They’ll help you understand why things affect you the way they do, and they’ll be able to share strategies that can help you take the best care of yourself while being an even better parent!
