Whatever happened to that hot guy whose smile from across the room made your heart skip a beat? Do you have vague memories of that fun loving woman who’s hiding under those flannel jammies? Put another way: does it feel like the magic has slipped away from your marriage? What if you could reignite the spark you felt when you opened the door and they were standing there, just as excited to see you? It may be easier than you think. Try some of these tips:
Show gratitude. In the early days of your relationship, you’d demonstrate gratitude for everything they did for you. When was the last time you thanked them for cooking dinner, mowing the lawn, or any of the dozens of little things that have just become part of daily life? Make a point of letting them know what you appreciate about them at least once a day (more often is better).
Plan a date. Remember how much fun it was to look forward to going out together? You’d get dressed up and look for special places to visit. When was the last time you tried a new restaurant or went for a hike? Dating shouldn’t end after you say, “I do.” (The Couple’s Adventure Book offers dozens of great ideas.)
Practice touch. Somewhere between binge-watching TV, scrolling through social feeds, and cleaning your mouth guards, make sure you take time to hold hands, cuddle, and kiss like you did when you were dating.
Keep healthy. In your first few months, you wanted to make sure you always looked great for your partner. Sitting on the couch in sweats can be comfy, but wouldn’t you prefer to feel alluring? Helping each other stay healthy through exercising and eating well can also make for a longer, happier marriage.
Try new things. Exploring a new hobby or activity can help you have fun together and generate new memories not to mention funny stories). Maybe it’s dancing, playing golf, or joining a couples’ bowling league – just make it something you’ve never done, and do it together.
Protect quality time. Spend some time every day giving each other your undivided attention. Instead of greeting each other with a litany of complaints about work or the kids, try showing enthusiasm and affection. There’s always time to whine, but an affectionate greeting may help you forget about that thing your boss said.
Help each other. Think hanging photos or doing a household project is romantic? It can be, when you do it together or as a favor to your partner (particularly when they didn’t have to ask you).
Go somewhere. Nothing kills the mood more than a sink full of dishes and kids fighting outside the bedroom door. A few days, a weekend, or even an overnighter alone can let you completely focus on what you love about each other.
Pray together. Prayer may not sound particularly exciting or romantic …but taking a few moments each day to share your needs with God can strengthen the emotional connection that’s at the heart of intimacy.
It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the busyness of our daily lives and distracted by the technology that finds its way to every corner of our homes. Unfortunately, those are the very things that draw our attention from our relationships with the most important people in our lives … especially our partners. Being intentional about building connections takes daily work, but it deepens and grows the love you have for each other. If you’re struggling to remember what brought you together or if hurt and disappointment have replaced affection and respect, why not begin by reaching out? We know how to help you find each other again … today and for years to come.