As parents, we want our children to be happy and successful. Helping them get there involves teaching them ways to develop resilience. That’s a fancy word for the ability to adjust when faced with adversity and bounce back from life’s challenges. Resilience helps your kids develop the emotional strength they need to navigate life’s ups and downs. There are several ways you can help them develop the resilience that will support them throughout their lives.
Model resilience. This is the most powerful thing you can do. When your behavior demonstrates a strong sense of resilience, your kids will develop their own. Let them see how you handle stress and setbacks. Share stories about how you overcame past challenges and ask them how they might have handled a similar situation.
Encourage emotional awareness. Emotions can be confusing for kids, so helping them recognize and describe what they’re feeling will build their ability to handle they way they react and respond. They need to understand that it’s normal to experience a range of feelings and that their emotions are legitimate and important. Telling them to stop feeling a particular way won’t work.
Build relationships. Support your kids as they learn how to build and maintain healthy friendships. Positive peer relationships can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging. In addition, relationships with family members are also important, so engage in activities such as family meals, game nights, or outdoor activities.
Learn problem-solving. Let the kids see how you deal with problems in constructive ways, such as by breaking them down into smaller, manageable steps. Support them in finding their own solutions. It’s okay to offer guidance but try not to solve problems for them. They’ll learn by doing.
Focus on growth. Teach children and teens that abilities and intelligence can grow with effort and perseverance. Encourage them to view challenges as opportunities to learn and improve. It’s great to recognize their achievements, but it’s more helpful to praise the effort they put into tasks.
Share coping strategies. One of the most important is also the easiest. Set up healthy routines for everyone that prioritize time for relaxation, hobbies, and self-care. Basic routines provide stability and a sense of control, especially at times everything seems way out of control. Show them how to use techniques like deep breathing to relieve everyday stress and anxiety.
Healthy risk-taking. As humans, we have to keep growing and reaching out. Trying new things not only brings enjoyment to our lives … it literally makes our brains stronger. New experiences – whether that’s walking the dog down a new street or some kind of adventure travel – generate connections within brain tissue that improve our health and resistance to illness while keeping our thinking sharp. Encourage kids to step out of their comfort zones in safe and supportive environments. Help them understand that failure is a part of growth, so they start seeing setbacks as opportunities for learning.
Celebrate accomplishments. When you recognize and celebrate your child’s accomplishments, you reinforce their belief in their own capabilities. Acknowledge their successes, no matter how small. That doesn’t mean a fancy celebration event … a genuine “I’m proud of you” will boost their self-confidence in more ways than you could imagine.
If helping your kids become resilient sounds like more than you think you might be able to handle, may we suggest sitting down with one of our counselors? They’ll listen carefully to your concerns and work with you to develop strategies for helping you – and your kids – achieve the resilience you’re after. Contact us today to set a time.
