“I’ll never let anyone get that close to me again!” We don’t often make vows in life, but when we do, it’s usually something momentous or important … and something that’s very difficult to overturn, even if we later change our minds.
That’s especially true about the vows we make in our personal lives and our relationships. We often issue those vows in anger or as a result of hurt. If a relationship has fallen apart, we vow we’ll never enter into another one. If we’ve placed our trust in the wrong person, we’ll vow to never trust anyone again. And if we open ourselves up and that vulnerability allows someone else to hurt us, we vow we’ll never again expose our heart.
The problem with vows is that they often become jails that entangle our emotions. As we remember and use them to protect ourselves, they actually prevent us from healing, from growing, and from becoming all God created us to be. Yes, that last relationship may have left us shaken, but the next one may change our life in unimaginably positive ways. That’s why we need to be careful about making vows, especially when we’re mired in hurt or overcome by anger.
If you’ve begun to believe a vow you’ve made in the past is negatively affecting your life today or limiting your future, it’s okay to break it and start anew. If you’re not sure how to do it, why not talk with one of our professional counselors? We can explore the issues that let you to make the vow and not only help you break it, but discuss ways to keep you from making similar mistakes in the future. Call us today.
Seth Baker is one of our students at Care to Change, and under the supervision of a licensed therapist. He plans to graduate by the end of this year and will specialize in helping kids, teens, families, and men.